I am a fool for love. I have been in love with God for a long, long time. This is a most mixed and confusing blessing, it seems.
I don’t recommend this love. It is coupled with a grief quite profound. If truly examined, who in their right mind would want the Divine? No one would want to go the distance, never knowing what the “distance” meant. It would be insane to want to be the Beloved. It could mean we would have to give up our right to whine. It might also mean we might have to give up our cherished right to play the victim. Another traitor to collective misery.
I am told I burn through everyone’s “story” and defenses and for that, I am hated. After all, who likes to be called out? Who likes to be, as they indelicately say, “called on their shit?” And I am certainly not one who does this on purpose, but I am one who detests dishonesty. I also detest phoniness and people pleasing. Who has the time for it?
To find a clear ‘yes’ and a clear ‘no’ is the very definition of integrity. How few have this integrity! It is not conditional. It is not negotiable. It is not for sale. And it makes our friends and family feel very safe since they know where they begin and where we end. They know who we are and where they stand with us. And if they have the capacity to be honest, they know they are loved. And we are free to express the essence of Who We Are, which is Love.
It is never enough to put together a few days of facile forgiveness, where the heart sails high and the breath comes effortlessly like the breeze. But couple the days with a string of open days, vulnerable moments and hours, when the very mystery of life leaves one speechless and dumbfounded in its wonder, unable to conjure in pictures or words the awe inspiring enlivenment of one breath breathed in this way….These moments transform and alchemize; they are the face of Love.
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